Is there some-fin fishy about your sense of humor? Then you’ll love this collection of hilarious fish jokes and clever fish puns! We’ve got aquarium puns for all occasions, from birthdays to holidays. We’re not going to let you off the hook, so take the bait and get schooled on the best (and worst) aquatic jokes around!
98 Silly Fish Puns for Everyone Occasion!
Some believe that puns are the lowest form of humor. Act-shoal-ly, playing with commonly-used terms and crafting joke words-within-words is a sign of great intelligence. If you love funny fish puns, you’ll find these insults and one-liners hys-tetra-ical!
1. Ahh, you’re Krill-ing me!
2. All I sea are Bass-icaly Cod awful puns!
3. Any-fin is possible, just don’t Trout yourself!
4. Anyone else want to Plaice a Bait?
5. Will you rise to the Bait?
6. Are you trying to Gill-t me into thinking of a better pun?
7. Best Fishes on your birthday!
8. Can you do any Betta than this?
9. Carp-e diem!
10. Cod I borrow something from you?
11. Cod I borrow you for a few minutes?
12. Cod, that was eely, eely bad!
13. Cod you pass me the pepper?
14. Cod you pass me the salt?
15. Create your own fish puns; don’t leave it to salmon else!
16. Dear Cod, I laughed so hard!
17. DJ’s aren’t allowed to work at fish markets because they’re always dropping the Bass rhythm
18. Vocalists aren’t allowed to work at fish markets because they may sing off scale
19. Don’t listen to them; I think you’re Fin-tastic!
20. Don’t try to Gill-t trip me; I know exactly what you’re doing!
21. Fish better have my money!
22. Fish-cious rumors
23. Have you thought of a fish pun yet, or do you need some time to Mullet over?
24. Have you thought of the solution yet or do you need some time to Mullet over?
25. You got Schooled by him!
26. Holy Carp! We’re only halfway through the week!
27. Holy Shrimp! This Scampi happening, can it?
28. Hoping to avoid Turtle disaster
29. I can feel that in my Sole
30. I really believe that to the bottom of my Sole
31. I see you’ve met my Nemo-sis
32. I think you’re Fin-tastic!
33. I Trout you, Buoys and Gills would Mako it on Comedy Central!
34. I’ll love you for a Krill-ion years
35. I wouldn’t be Cod dead participating in this list of puns
36. I’d never be Cod in that old-school get-up
37. I wouldn’t be Cod dead wearing that!
38. I’ll Bait that fish can’t swim on for much longer!
39. I’ll Bait these puns can’t go on for much longer
40. I’m hooked on these puns!
41. I’m stuck between a rock and a hard Plaice now!
42. I’m waiting for someone else to Mussel in on this game
43. I’ve Haddock with these shenanigans!
44. If you cross me I’ll make you feel my Wrasse!
45. If you keep pestering me I’m going to get a Haddock
46. It doesn’t get any Betta than this
47. It looks like we’re Piranha roll now!
48. Keep your friends close and your Anemones closer
49. Dress like you’re going to sea your worst Anemone!
50. Let Minnow if you have any suggestions
51. Let’s make this o-Fish-all!
52. Most fish will tell you they like their drinks cold, and their Bait a little Worm-er
53. My dad was a fisherman, but he quit because his net income wasn’t enough
54. My dad was a fisherman, but he quit because he couldn’t scale up his net income
55. Never trust unlicensed puns; always check to see if they’re o-Fish-all
56. Oh, what a load of Carp!
57. Oh, you’re so so-Fish-ticated!
58. Salmon had to say it
59. Salmon, call a doctor!
60. Some people don’t like fish puns, but these are Kraken me up!
61. Let’s get Kraken on this list of puns!
62. Sorry, my attempt at a joke was a pile of Carp
63. Stop being so Koi about it
64. Stop Carping on; you’re giving me a Haddock
65. Stop spreading those Fish-ious rumors
66. Thank Cod you’re here
67. That scientist is Gill-iant!
68. That seems a bit fishy to me
69. The way they handled that is a-Trout-cious
70. They always Mussel in on what everyone else is doing
71. They have very so-Fish-ticated tastes
72. This is a big issue a-Monk fishermen
73. This is going to get a-Trout-cious really quick!
74. This is neither the time nor the Plaice to deal with this
75. Did he win, Plaice or show in the swimming contest?
76. This is the first time I’m Herring about the issue
77. There isn’t a consensus a-Monk the group
78. Clam down; I’m a bit shell shocked
79. We Fish you a Merry Christmas!
80. We should Dolphin-itely scale back on the fish puns
81. We Whaley need to stop now!
82. We Whaley need to turn this car around
83. We’re just hoping to avoid Turtle disaster at this point
84. We’re swimming along nicely
85. I think you’re just Fin-tastic!
86. Stuck between a rock and a hard Plaice!
87. Well, Salmon had to say it!
88. What a load of Pollocks!
89. What is this aquarium website we’ve been Herring all about?
90. Who will be the Sole survivor?
91. You Betta believe it!
92. Better not, or you’ll feel my Wrasse!
93. You don’t have to be a brain Sturgeon to come up with fish puns
94. You don’t have to be a brain Sturgeon to figure it out
95. You should make him walk the Plankton for that!
96. You’re clearly a Dab hand at this
97. You’re not quite up to scale
98. You’ve met your Nemo-sis
15 Fish Jokes and Memes For Kids
Some jokes are a bit so-fish-ticated for the younger fry, but you won’t get caught in a net of trouble when you share these jokes in school!
99. Q: What does a fish wrap around its shoulders to keep warm?
A: A Shoal
100. Q: What fish goes up the river at 100mph?
A: A motor pike!
101. Q: What has big sharp teeth, a tail, scales, and a trunk?
A: A barracuda on vacation
102. Q: What kind of whale can fly?
A: A pilot whale!
103. Q: What type of instrument do fish love to play?
A: The bass, but some play just the bass drum
104. Q: Where does a killer whale go for braces?
A: The orca-dontist
105. Q: Which fish can perform operations?
A: A sturgeon!
106. Q: Why are fish so smart?
A: Because they live in schools!
107. Q: Why did the fish get bad grades?
A: Because it was below sea level
108. Q: Why didn’t the Peppermint shrimp share her toys?
A: She was too shellfish
109. Q: Why do some fish live at the bottom of the ocean?
110. Q: Did you hear about the illiterate fisherman?
A: He was lost at C
111. Q: Why is it so easy to weigh a fish?
A: Because they have their own scales
112. Q: Why was the whale so sad?
A: Because she was a Blue whale
113. Q: Why will the fish never take responsibility?
A: Because it’s always salmon else’s fault
15 Salmon Puns to Make You Pink With Envy
Salmon is a funny word on it’s own, since it’s pronunciation is totally different from the way it’s spelled. Just swap the word “salmon” with someone, sermon or a similar-sounding S-word and the funny fish puns practically write themselves!
114. A good salmon helps you to grow spiritually with God
115. Earlier, he was into salmon business
116. He salmoned a spirit from the underworld
117. I would like to order a salmon salad
118. Life is weird. Better to take part in salmon
119. Most of the aged person prefer to spend their extra time at the salmon
120. Please salmon the Duke, I have an urgent message!
121. Salmon’s at the door!
122. The salmon is good for the healthy soul
123. Will salmon please help me?
124. Will you be interested to join that salmon?
125. You deserve the best salmon award for your work
126. You look smart in that salmon
127. You have good salmon skills. And, you know it already
128. Knock! Knock! Salmon’s here
15 Puns For Every Even-Tuna-ality
Tuna puns abound in the world of aquatic humor. They simply seem to tuna-up constantly, even when you’re not trying to catch them. You’ll roe the day you started reading this list!
129. Fortunately, this word is already a tuna pun
130. Free Tunaversity tuition would be economically and morally beneficial
131. I believe in tunaversal rights for an animal to own its body
132. I don’t know how to tuna violin
133. I’m a physics grad working on tunafication of fundamental forces
134. I’m tunaciously holding on to every bit of pride I have
135. The cartunaist was only slightly ashamed of his laboured puns
136. The Last Tunacorn
137. The members tunanimously voted to ban fish puns
138. The sonata has a beautiful variation in tunality
139. The tunaverse is truly an incredible place
140. To prevent vibration, a tunaformly distributed load is important
141. Tunalateral nuclear disarmament
142. “We’ve got one opportunaty, let’s make it count” and “Luck is often a combination of preparation and opportunaty”
143. Where are the pegs? Is this guitar even tunable?
25 More Fish Jokes to Make You Bubble With Laughter
If you’ve taken the bait and are still looking to whale-away some time, here’s 25 fishy jokes worthy of the inter-net!
144. Q: Why are they called sperm whales?
A: Because seamen discovered them
145. Q: Did you hear about the fight in that Seafood restaurant?
A: Four fish were battered!
146. Q: Why don’t monkfish have girlfriends?
A: The practice seal-aba-sea
147. Q: How do you keep a fish from smelling?
A: Chop of its nose
148. Q: How do you make a goldfish age?
A: Take out the G and Fish!
149. Q: How do you make an octopus laugh?
A: Give it ten-tickles
150. Q: How do you tuna fish?
A: Adjust their scales
151. Q: How does a school of fish keep up to date about sea life?
A: They listen to the Current news
152. Q: If a fish got the main role in a movie, what would it be called?
153. Q: What did the fish say to his girlfriend when they split up?
A: I’m outta this plaice!
154. Q: What did the fish say to his girlfriend?
A: You plaice or mine?
155. Q: What did the shark say to the other shark?
A: There’s some-fin special about you!
156. Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A: Fishually impaired
157. Q: What happens when you mix a fish and a banker?
A: A loan shark
158. Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a fish?
A: One is a scum-sucking scavenger; the other is just a fish
159. Q: What’s the most musical part of a fish?
A: The scales!
160. Q: Where do sick fish go?
A: To see a sturgeon
161. Q: Which fish go to heaven?
162. Q: Why did the fish blush?
A: Because he saw the boat’s bottom
163. Q: Why did the fish get a detention?
A: Because he was being too shellfish
164. Q: Why did the little boy not eat his sushi?
A: Because it looked too fishy
165. Q: Why did the teenage fish get told off in school?
A: Because he was talking on his shell phone
166. Q: Why did the woman make tons of fish-eye soup?
A: Because it will see her through the week
167. Q: Why do sharks live in saltwater?
A: Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
168. Q: Why don’t fish play football?
A: They’re scared of nets!
5 Corny Fish Jokes to Batter Your Friends With
There really are an endless number of possibilities when it comes to bad fish-and-chips jokes, and the following are sure to make you laugh and groan at the same time.
169. Q: What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
170. Q: What did the trout detective say?
A: There’s something fishy going on here!
171. Q: What do you get if you cross a pastor with a guppie?
172. Q: What kind of guitar do fish play?
173. Q: Where do female fish keep their money?
A: In their octopurse
Don’t flounder around or sell your sole to find funny fish jokes and puns! Whether you’re looking for a specific type of fish-based insult or want to salmon all the possibilities, our list has you covered! Did you enjoy these jokes and puns? Share your own creations in the comments below, or join the school on social media!
Check out our article for Funny, Cute And Clever Goldfish Names!