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173 Clever and Funny Fish Jokes and Puns!

Is there some-fin fishy about your sense of humor? Then you’ll love this collection of hilarious fish jokes and clever fish puns! We’ve got aquarium puns for all occasions, from birthdays to holidays. We’re not going to let you off the hook, so take the bait and get schooled on the best (and worst) aquatic jokes around!

Table of Contents

98 Silly Fish Puns for Everyone Occasion!

We fish you a merry christmas memes

Some believe that puns are the lowest form of humor. Act-shoal-ly, playing with commonly-used terms and crafting joke words-within-words is a sign of great intelligence. If you love funny fish puns, you’ll find these insults and one-liners hys-tetra-ical!

1. Ahh, you’re Krill-ing me!

2. All I sea are Bass-icaly Cod awful puns!

3. Any-fin is possible, just don’t Trout yourself!

4. Anyone else want to Plaice a Bait?

5. Will you rise to the Bait?

6. Are you trying to Gill-t me into thinking of a better pun?

7. Best Fishes on your birthday!

Image of young positive chief man in white cook uniform and hat smiling while holding raw fresh fish isolated over white background

8. Can you do any Betta than this?

9. Carp-e diem!

10. Cod I borrow something from you?

11. Cod I borrow you for a few minutes?

12. Cod, that was eely, eely bad!

13. Cod you pass me the pepper?

14. Cod you pass me the salt?

15. Create your own fish puns; don’t leave it to salmon else!

16. Dear Cod, I laughed so hard!

Middle age business arab man wearing glasses over isolated background Smiling and laughing hard out loud because funny crazy joke. Happy expression.

17. DJ’s aren’t allowed to work at fish markets because they’re always dropping the Bass rhythm

18. Vocalists aren’t allowed to work at fish markets because they  may sing off scale

19. Don’t listen to them; I think you’re Fin-tastic!

20. Don’t try to Gill-t trip me; I know exactly what you’re doing!

21. Fish better have my money!

22. Fish-cious rumors

23. Have you thought of a fish pun yet, or do you need some time to Mullet over?

24. Have you thought of the solution yet or do you need some time to Mullet over?

25. You got Schooled by him!

Cartoon of Dad scolding his son and sending him away

26. Holy Carp! We’re only halfway through the week!

27. Holy Shrimp! This Scampi happening, can it?

28. Hoping to avoid Turtle disaster

29. I can feel that in my Sole

30. I really believe that to the bottom of my Sole

31. I see you’ve met my Nemo-sis

32. I think you’re Fin-tastic!

33. I Trout you, Buoys and Gills would Mako it on Comedy Central!

34. I’ll love you for a Krill-ion years

Fantasy animated shrimp isolated on white background. Vector cartoon close-up illustration

35. I wouldn’t be Cod dead participating in this list of puns

36. I’d never be Cod in that old-school get-up

37. I wouldn’t be Cod dead wearing that!

38. I’ll Bait that fish can’t swim on for much longer!

39. I’ll Bait these puns can’t go on for much longer

40. I’m hooked on these puns!

41. I’m stuck between a rock and a hard Plaice now!

42. I’m waiting for someone else to Mussel in on this game

43. I’ve Haddock with these shenanigans!

44. If you cross me I’ll make you feel my Wrasse!

45. If you keep pestering me I’m going to get a Haddock

46. It doesn’t get any Betta than this

47. It looks like we’re Piranha roll now!

Illustration of a scary piranha under the sea

48. Keep your friends close and your Anemones closer

49. Dress like you’re going to sea your worst Anemone!

50. Let Minnow if you have any suggestions

51. Let’s make this o-Fish-all!

52. Most fish will tell you they like their drinks cold, and their Bait a little Worm-er

53. My dad was a fisherman, but he quit because his net income wasn’t enough

54. My dad was a fisherman, but he quit because he couldn’t scale up his net income

55. Never trust unlicensed puns; always check to see if they’re o-Fish-all

56. Oh, what a load of Carp!

57. Oh, you’re so so-Fish-ticated!

58. Salmon had to say it

59. Salmon, call a doctor!

60. Some people don’t like fish puns, but these are Kraken me up!

A vector illustration of a guy rolling on the floor and laughing.

61. Let’s get Kraken on this list of puns!

62. Sorry, my attempt at a joke was a pile of Carp

63. Stop being so Koi about it

64. Stop Carping on; you’re giving me a Haddock

65. Stop spreading those Fish-ious rumors

66. Thank Cod you’re here

67. That scientist is Gill-iant!

68. That seems a bit fishy to me

69. The way they handled that is a-Trout-cious

70. They always Mussel in on what everyone else is doing

71. They have very so-Fish-ticated tastes

72. This is a big issue a-Monk fishermen

Cartoon Couple Fishing

73. This is going to get a-Trout-cious really quick!

74. This is neither the time nor the Plaice to deal with this

75. Did he win, Plaice or show in the swimming contest?

76. This is the first time I’m Herring about the issue

77. There isn’t a consensus a-Monk the group

78. Clam down; I’m a bit shell shocked

79. We Fish you a Merry Christmas!

80. We should Dolphin-itely scale back on the fish puns

81. We Whaley need to stop now!

82. We Whaley need to turn this car around

83. We’re just hoping to avoid Turtle disaster at this point

84. We’re swimming along nicely

85. I think you’re just Fin-tastic!

86. Stuck between a rock and a hard Plaice!

Cartoon Rock Boundaries

87. Well, Salmon had to say it!

88. What a load of Pollocks!

89. What is this aquarium website we’ve been Herring all about?

90. Who will be the Sole survivor?

91. You Betta believe it!

92. Better not, or you’ll feel my Wrasse!

93. You don’t have to be a brain Sturgeon to come up with fish puns

94. You don’t have to be a brain Sturgeon to figure it out

95. You should make him walk the Plankton for that!

96. You’re clearly a Dab hand at this

97. You’re not quite up to scale

98. You’ve met your Nemo-sis

15 Fish Jokes and Memes For Kids

The orca-dontist memes

Some jokes are a bit so-fish-ticated for the younger fry, but you won’t get caught in a net of trouble when you share these jokes in school!

99. Q: What does a fish wrap around its shoulders to keep warm?

A: A Shoal

100. Q: What fish goes up the river at 100mph?

A: A motor pike!

101. Q: What has big sharp teeth, a tail, scales, and a trunk?

A: A barracuda on vacation

102. Q: What kind of whale can fly?

A: A pilot whale!

103. Q: What type of instrument do fish love to play?

A: The bass, but some play just the bass drum

fishing for largemouth bass fish in fresh water

104. Q: Where does a killer whale go for braces?

A: The orca-dontist

105. Q: Which fish can perform operations?

A: A sturgeon!

106. Q: Why are fish so smart?

A: Because they live in schools!

107. Q: Why did the fish get bad grades?

A: Because it was below sea level

108. Q: Why didn’t the Peppermint shrimp share her toys?

A: She was too shellfish

109. Q: Why do some fish live at the bottom of the ocean?

School of fishes under the sea

110. Q: Did you hear about the illiterate fisherman?

A: He was lost at C

111. Q: Why is it so easy to weigh a fish?

A: Because they have their own scales

112. Q: Why was the whale so sad?

A: Because she was a Blue whale

113. Q: Why will the fish never take responsibility?

A: Because it’s always salmon else’s fault

15 Salmon Puns to Make You Pink With Envy

15 Salmon Puns to Make You Pink With Envy memes

Salmon is a funny word on it’s own, since it’s pronunciation is totally different from the way it’s spelled. Just swap the word “salmon” with someone, sermon or a similar-sounding S-word and the funny fish puns practically write themselves!

114. A good salmon helps you to grow spiritually with God

115. Earlier, he was into salmon business

116. He salmoned a spirit from the underworld

117. I would like to order a salmon salad

118. Life is weird. Better to take part in salmon

119. Most of the aged person prefer to spend their extra time at the salmon

120. Please salmon the Duke, I have an urgent message!

121. Salmon’s at the door!

122. The salmon is good for the healthy soul

123. Will salmon please help me?

124. Will you be interested to join that salmon?

125. You deserve the best salmon award for your work

126. You look smart in that salmon

127. You have good salmon skills. And, you know it already

128. Knock! Knock! Salmon’s here

15 Puns For Every Even-Tuna-ality

15 Puns For Every Even-Tuna-ality

Tuna puns abound in the world of aquatic humor. They simply seem to tuna-up constantly, even when you’re not trying to catch them. You’ll roe the day you started reading this list!

129. Fortunately, this word is already a tuna pun

130. Free Tunaversity tuition would be economically and morally beneficial

131. I believe in tunaversal rights for an animal to own its body

132. I don’t know how to tuna violin

133. I’m a physics grad working on tunafication of fundamental forces

134. I’m tunaciously holding on to every bit of pride I have

135. The cartunaist was only slightly ashamed of his laboured puns

136. The Last Tunacorn

137. The members tunanimously voted to ban fish puns

138. The sonata has a beautiful variation in tunality

139. The tunaverse is truly an incredible place

140. To prevent vibration, a tunaformly distributed load is important

141. Tunalateral nuclear disarmament

142. “We’ve got one opportunaty, let’s make it count” and “Luck is often a combination of preparation and opportunaty

143. Where are the pegs? Is this guitar even tunable?

25 More Fish Jokes to Make You Bubble With Laughter

25 More Fish Jokes to Make You Bubble With Laughter

If you’ve taken the bait and are still looking to whale-away some time, here’s 25 fishy jokes worthy of the inter-net!

144. Q: Why are they called sperm whales?

A: Because seamen discovered them

145. Q: Did you hear about the fight in that Seafood restaurant?

A: Four fish were battered!

146. Q: Why don’t monkfish have girlfriends?

A: The practice seal-aba-sea

147. Q: How do you keep a fish from smelling?

A: Chop of its nose

148. Q: How do you make a goldfish age?

A: Take out the G and Fish!

149. Q: How do you make an octopus laugh?

A: Give it ten-tickles

150. Q: How do you tuna fish?

A: Adjust their scales

151. Q: How does a school of fish keep up to date about sea life?

A: They listen to the Current news

152. Q: If a fish got the main role in a movie, what would it be called?

Starfish in the sea

153. Q: What did the fish say to his girlfriend when they split up?

A: I’m outta this plaice!

154. Q: What did the fish say to his girlfriend?

A: You plaice or mine?

155. Q: What did the shark say to the other shark?

A: There’s some-fin special about you!

156. Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A: Fishually impaired

157. Q: What happens when you mix a fish and a banker?

A: A loan shark

158. Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a fish?

A: One is a scum-sucking scavenger; the other is just a fish

159. Q: What’s the most musical part of a fish?

A: The scales!

160. Q: Where do sick fish go?

A: To see a sturgeon

161. Q: Which fish go to heaven?

Funny black and white angel fish cartoon with beauty sea life background

162. Q: Why did the fish blush?

A: Because he saw the boat’s bottom

163. Q: Why did the fish get a detention?

A: Because he was being too shellfish

164. Q: Why did the little boy not eat his sushi?

A: Because it looked too fishy

165. Q: Why did the teenage fish get told off in school?

A: Because he was talking on his shell phone

166. Q: Why did the woman make tons of fish-eye soup?

A: Because it will see her through the week

167. Q: Why do sharks live in saltwater?

A: Because pepper water makes them sneeze!

168. Q: Why don’t fish play football?

A: They’re scared of nets!

5 Corny Fish Jokes to Batter Your Friends With

 

5 Corny Fish Jokes to Batter Your Friends With

There really are an endless number of possibilities when it comes to bad fish-and-chips jokes, and the following are sure to make you laugh and groan at the same time.

169. Q: What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?

A: Dam!

170. Q: What did the trout detective say?

A: There’s something fishy going on here!

171. Q: What do you get if you cross a pastor with a guppie?

A: Monkfish!

172. Q: What kind of guitar do fish play?

A: Bass

173. Q: Where do female fish keep their money?

A: In their octopurse

Conclusion

Don’t flounder around or sell your sole to find funny fish jokes and puns! Whether you’re looking for a specific type of fish-based insult or want to salmon all the possibilities, our list has you covered! Did you enjoy these jokes and puns? Share your own creations in the comments below, or join the school on social media!

Check out our article for Funny, Cute And Clever Goldfish Names!

Jen has more than 30 years experience as a biologist, aquarist, and fishkeeper. She is an expert in setting up new tanks and maintaining naturally-planted freshwater habitats, and has experience raising a wide variety of aquatic species.

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